Which is to say that being an entrepreneurial leader is exciting, scary, relentless – and some days, the days when you don’t throw up, it’s an incredibly rewarding job.

It seems to me that it may have gotten a bit surreal these last few months. The global campaign for entrepreneurship has spiked a fever. Public and private programs champion the entrepreneur as the engine of the economy, yet the economy hardly supports a budding startup. Seed financing is abundant yet difficult to find. The magnetic north that is Silicon Valley drags foreign entrepreneurs to its center even as politicians and pundits promote new business as the catalyst for emerging markets and revitilized cities.

A sort of Startup Industrial Complex has quickly grown up to support the business of starting businesses. Meetups and camps, seed funds and inclubators, trade missions and partnerships, media and events – all there to “help” the entrepreneur.

But are they really helping? Has all the attention on entrepreneurship shifted, even a little bit, the odds of success to the favor of the startup. Surely, so-called super angels are making money and politicians are nailing their talking points. Lots of people have met, camped, communed. But are they really getting what they need? Are they now really able to build better, sustainable businesses?

My guess is that these programs do catalyze some businesses. My suspicion is that they are hugely inefficient, and waste as much entrepreneurial energy and resource as they hope to create in the form of new companies. My fear is that would-be entrepreneurs have become the fuel in a machine that creates status and capital returns for a few Startup Industrialists while leaving the entrepreneurs themselves to live in proverbial company towns working for a new digital age “Man.”

The irony here is that these mostly well-meaning folks really are just trying to help. Maybe, though, the best “help” is a little less help. Give entrepreneurs open, transparent access to the tools and information they need to build their business. Be candid and respectful with your feedback. Provide mentoring when they ask, and encouragement even if they don’t ask. Reach into new communities, sharing best practices and leaving some of your DNA there to encourage a new crop of entrepreneurs grow in place.

That’s what we’re trying to do at Guidewire Group: build an open platform and information exchange. We are by and for entrepreneurs, creating an alternative to the Startup Industrial Complex. We are looking for partners who share our values and commitment. If this sounds like your kind of monster roller coaster, drop me a line. chris@guidewiregroup.com.

That’s not exactly what transpired, much to my disappointment.  I suppose it was inevitable, though, that an audience member would ask that question that makes my eyes roll like an exasperated teenager: “Why are there so few women in tech?”

For some seemingly interminable time, Sara, the audience member, and Anousheh (when she can shoehorn a word in) discussed the question.  Amid the not-so-veiled hypothesis that women are back-stabbing bitches who perceive all other women as competitors who must be crushed under their stiletto heels, Sara made an insightful observation.  As graduating men and women enter the job market, they are at relative parity in pay and status.  ”But somewhere along the line, a choice is made. Things change.  I don’t know what it is.”

Really?  This from a woman who is pregnant?  I’m going to guess that the birth of that child might help identify the “choice.”

Which leads me to my point.  Beyond being tiresome, this relentless questioning of why not more women entrepreneurs or why not more women in tech is fundamentally the wrong question.  We should be asking why more men aren’t choosing full-time parenting.  The fact is that women stop out of their careers to raise children at a substantially greater rate than do men.  And they tend to do it at exactly the time most professionals hit the inflection point of their careers.

Just once, I’d like to hear a panel discuss that question.  I’d like to hear men speculate about parenting as an emasculating activity that leaves an otherwise  macho wage-earner whimpering in the locker room with as much stereotypic bull pucky as we listen to women describing each other as ruthless, hair-pulling, nail-scratching, girl-fighting wenches.

Really. Just once.  Can we?

Blogger Judi Clark captured much of the great advice for ManyMedia.

It’s been my experience that when Steve mentors, a-ha happens, and I had one of those moments as I listened to Steve talk about the 10 Reasons Startups Fail.  He addressed each reason as a separate, potentially deadly challenge for young companies, but for me, Reason #6 (“Don’t Pay Attention to your Customers”) and Reason #4 (“Fail to State a Clear Mission and Focus”) came together as both problem and solution. While he was making the point that companies ignore their customers at their peril and that too many startups go sideways because they pursued too many “opportunities,” I heard the solution to problem #7 by solving #6.  Your customers will tell you what to focus on, if you just listen to them.

A case in point.  I was working with a startup team recently to help them develop their strategic messaging.   We talked for several hours about the company’s technology, its leadership in cloud computing, the evolution of the enterprise software market.  We drew on the whiteboard and argued perspective. After three hours, we agreed to a story arc, the company’s position in a rapidly evolving market, the coming disruption and the company’s opportunity to exploit that change.

Then we took a break.

After a 30-minute breather, I asked to see the customer testimonials that had been recorded for the soon-to-be launched marketing effort.  A virtual parade of customers talked about the company’s ability to help solve a critical problem. They talked about cost savings, but then only as an afterthought to real benefits the software delivered. They used lots of words to describe their happiness with the product –few of them the words the company echoed in its marketing and none of them that the company would have said was its focus.

Yet in just 10 minutes listening to customers, the four executives dispatched to the task of identifying the company’s marketing message found agreement in the company’s focus.  Perhaps most remarkably and what may have been the first time,  the company’s founder, product lead, marketer, and salesman reached quick agreement about the business and collectively knew they could sell the message – and the focus – to the rest of the company.

Why the instant Kumbaya?  Because the message came from customers.

Too many startup execs are convinced that the startup must teach and groom the market and when that strategy fails to deliver business performance, they chase to another opportunity and then another.  In the most extreme case, a prominent Web 2.0 entrepreneur suggested that his customers – by which he meant every consumer in America if not the world – were just not smart enough to understand the greatness he was bringing to their lives.

It turns out, though, that customers don’t have to be “smart” to make a decision to buy or not.  But entrepreneurs have to be genius in listening to the “why” in that decision if they ever expect to build a business.

What also took mere minutes was the indignant faction who were either annoyed, offended, or downright angry. While watching the BCS game (which is an entirely separate argument we won’t discuss), I found myself in a heated debate with a friend as to the effectiveness/harm of posting your bra color for breast cancer awareness. Her key point was that “hollow gestures threaten to undermine substantive action” and she circled back to her favorite rant topic: the aligning of twitterers with the Iranian democracy revolt last summer. I disagree strongly; people turning their avatars green has no effect – negative or positive – on Iranians’ fight for democracy, just as typing the word “beige” next to my name on Facebook isn’t going to set breast cancer research back 10 years.

What it does do however is a couple of other important things. It serves a very real sociological need for affiliation. Humans define themselves, at least partially, by their causes. “I’m against Prop 8; therefore I am liberal and open-minded.” “I’m a member of the NRA; therefore I am conservative and like to kill things.” (Sorry. I’m only human.) So when you glom onto to one of these silly online memes – and yes, they are mostly silly – people feel they’re defining themselves a little bit.

The second point is one that’s much more salient. Last night’s bra-color game was a hint of what is possible when you combine social causes with social networks. Even those who were offended as hell have to admit: we’re talking about breast cancer now. Yes, of course, we were talking about it before. On occasion. In October when every household object on the market is tinted pink. But it did in fact, achieve precisely what it set out to do – raise awareness. The Huffington Post wasn’t focusing on the anger and raw emotion of a breast cancer survivor last week. The rage that cancer engenders was not getting ink in the Washington Post. And the Komen fan page on Facebook, for whatever good it does, had far less fans yesterday morning. Now the efficacy of ‘awareness’ is most definitely up for debate. But if one little meme involving a color can take hold that quickly, and make that much of a splash in less than 12 hours, what’s going to happen when someone – and I’m betting it will be a political candidate – figures out how to really utilize our personal networks?

Because I’ve argued enough this week, I’ll let my friend have the last word. Kind of.

If tech and social media wants to be taken seriously as a potential cure for that ill, action has to make a leap from status updates to the real world.

I couldn’t agree more. She goes on to posit, though, that online actions make people feel they’ve done their part and therefore won’t contribute more substantive action in the real world. Perhaps, with some people, yes. But I can pretty much guarantee those folks weren’t going to contribute much to begin with.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in emerging technology, it’s that you can’t start at the top. You lay the groundwork at the very bottom and hope that subsequent companies and technologies will build on it in your wake. No, we didn’t cure breast cancer last night. But I’m certainly willing to keep playing these little games until we do.

I hope by pointing out common blunders, I can help entrepreneurs avoid a few of the dumb mistakes that (almost) every startup makes.  I also hope that some of you who have tripped into these potholes of entrepreneurship might come forward as case studies for a collection of essays that I’m compiling.  If you have a story that serves as object lesson to fellow entrepreneurs, I’d love to talk to you about it.  I promise to protect identities (where necessary and/or requested) and to be gentle with you.  The goal of the book is to help new entrepreneurs learn from those who have gone before.   If you’re interested in sharing a story, contact me via email.

Now, on to the list of 10 Stupid Things Entrepreneurs Do To Mess up Their Businesses*

1.  Think Like a Guppy

Okay, so you’re a small company.  Maybe it’s just you and a couple of co-founders. Hell, maybe it really is just you. That’s cause to be judicious with your resources, but it’s no reason to whine.

Somehow in the past few years, it’s become popular to put startups in some sort of protected charitable class.  You’re not a charity, you’re a business and if you want to be a big business, you have to think like one.  Manage your resources, posture, negotiate,  demand performance, deal.

You’re not a little fish; you’re a whale that has a long way to grow. Think like a small business and you’ll stay a small business. Think like a big business and you are more likely to become one.

2. Confuse Vision and Focus

Any business worth doing starts with a big, clear vision, that usually has something to do with owning a market, solving a giant problem, saving the world, or simply total world domination.

Still, there is a giant difference between vision and focus.  Vision is the audacious objective, the big game of entrepreneurship. It is what the business looks like when you’ve achieved your goals.

Focus is how you get there.

Focus is critical because it provides the actionable steps to make a vision a reality.  Focus prevents companies from running off course, or worse, chasing after the shiny objects that pose as opportunity. As importantly, focus provides a measure of progress and keeps ambitious entrepreneurs from becoming overwhelmed by their big vision.

Smart entrepreneurs dream big, but focus tightly. You can eat an elephant, but you have to do it one day at a time.

3.  Confuse activity for focus

There are no idle entrepreneurs.  Indeed, time is the enemy of startups, and every founder is busy, busy, busy building the business.  Or so it seems.

Lots of activity doesn’t necessarily mean lots of progress. If you’re unfocused and doing the wrong things, you can be mighty busy doing little of value.   When you’re lost, don’t just drive faster.  Stop.  Breathe. Assess. Focus.  And maybe even ask for directions.

4. Fall in Love with Technology

Of course you love your technology; every entrepreneur does.  It’s the product, after all, that people will buy. So you give it all your attention, defend it when criticized, convince your self that your baby can’t be ugly.

While dedication to technical excellence is admirable, in  a startup it’s the wrong target for your affection.  Instead, fall in love with your customers. They will tell you what to make.

5.  Focus on Fund Raising Instead of Building a Business

I know.  You need capital to build your company and venture capital is the fastest path to cash in the bank.  Or it used to be.

While few VCs will openly admit that they have much worry, truth is that the venture capital industry is in upheaval.  The perfect storm of the residual dot-com mega-funds, cash-efficient business creation models of the Web 2.0 cycle, and a global economic meltdown leave most funds with capital they can’t invest, capital calls they can’t make, or new funds they can’t raise. VCs are trying to re-engineer (and, in many instances, simply save) their businesses.  And while they may be saying something different, they really aren’t spending as much time thinking about how to invest in yours.

But even in the best of times, the best way to raise capital to build your business is to build and sell products and services that people want to buy.  In fact, nothing catches the interest of VCs like money coming into the company.

Consider that raising venture capital is a time-consuming activity.  Consider how you might otherwise use your time.  Developing a product?  Talking to customers?  Building strong channel partners?  Then consider this: what brings more value to your company: building PowerPoint presentations for Sand Hill Road or building your company?

6. Fail To Measure

Young companies run fast, but not every startup is clear on where they’re going or what it will look like when they arrive.  No doubt there will be plenty of turns along the way, but if you don’t lay down some milestones, you’ll have no way of knowing whether you’re on track or on time.

Companies of all sizes do what they measure, so measure what matters.  Determine by what metrics you will evaluate your progress and by which you will be evaluated by others.  Whether its development deadlines, page views, sign ups, downloads, or whatever – figure out what measurable metrics demonstrate growth and potential for your business.

Include in your metrics the sub-measures that affect the whole.  For example, if the measure is a sales goal, also measure marketing and development activity that contributes to achieving that goal.  That way, you have a clearer view sooner of what is going right, and possibly wrong.

Communicate those metrics to your team so they understand what they are and why they are important.  Then measure and report in meaningful and actionable increments.

7.  Ignore Yellow Lights

Optimism is a critical requirement for entrepreneurs. You have to believe that you can do the impossible while constrained in every possible way.

Still, your optimism can not be allowed to trump your reality.

That’s why metrics and measurement are so important to young companies.   It’s important to set those milestones while everything remains possible and reason rules your business planning.

As you march on, you’ll no doubt miss a milestone or fall short of some measure.  Pay attention. Take time to analyze the shortfall, learn from it and make course corrections as needed.

And, most importantly, listen for that little voice that urges you to press on even when all the warning signs point to another course of action.  Listen for it, not to it.

8. Hire Good People

Smart founders hire great people. Period.

You’ve got more work than you can do alone, your small team can’t move fast enough, and you’ve got the resources to bring in more people.  Hiring fast may seem like the answer.  It rarely is.

As much as founders need people to help build the business, people can be a time sink for founders.  The wrong person in the wrong job will bury you in management hassles, and they can do more to destroy team morale than a weeks of all-nighters.

As counter intuitive as it may seem, it is far better to take time to fill a position with the absolute best hire, than to burn time managing your way out of a bad hire.

9. Neglect the Details

An entrepreneur I know calls the details of budgeting and bookkeeping, employee contracts, stock agreements, and the myriad other details of business life “administrivia.”  It’s a fun word, but there is nothing trivial about business management.

In the earliest days, when you’re working on handshakes and shoestrings, there’s little need for over the top business administration, but that doesn’t obviate the need for some reasonable care.  That care (or lack thereof) will set the tone for your business as it grows.

A little time and a few dollars spent with a bookkeeper and lawyer in your earliest days will save a lot more time and money later when you need clean books and protected IP to make your case to investors, customers, and partners.   Forensic accounting and documentation is very expensive.  You can pay me now, or pay me a lot more later.

10. Lose Site of Your Values

Every company has a culture.  It’s either accidental or deliberate.

An accidental culture grows as people come on to the team, decisions are made, customs established, crises arise, pressures build and release, new challenges and opportunities preset themselves.  How founders act as the business unfolds sets the tone and establishes precedent.  Precedent, re-enacted time and again, grows into corporate culture.

In my experience, most accidental cultures are toxic, not unlike mold growing in a refrigerator; all the best ingredients are there, but having gone ignored or uncared for, they go to waste.

Deliberate cultures aren’t necessarily complex and they don’t require management consultants or self-help books.  They simply require awareness.  What do you believe and value?  If this company is your legacy, how do you want to be known?  How do you want your company to be perceived by its employees, customers, and community?

Let the awareness of and commitment to those values drive your business dealings and decisions. Be consistent with your values, make them part of the company, and demand that those around you do the same.

* with apologies to Dr. Laura Schlessinger for riffing on her popular book titles.